The Perfect Virus

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If you aren’t the science type, please move on…This post was written in a bout of mad scientific spontaneity.

I’m learning about viruses in AP Biology, and it got me thinking…if I were to make my own virus, what would it be like? What would it be called, and what would it be composed of?

I also wanted to give my virus a sort of goal, and so it was decided:

The virus must be able to eliminate all of humanity with two weeks.

Sounds good, right?

I thought about this for a good deal of time, and after about two or three hours of scouring the internet for information, I believe I’ve created the perfect virus!

On the assumption that all tools and instruments needed are provided, here are the different bacteria I need * rubs hands * :

-Influenza (H1N1)

-Lethal Toxin, Edema factor, and Protective Antigen, all of which can be obtained from Anthrax.

-ST239-MRSA-III Strain

-CTXφ from the Cholera disease.

I need the H1N1 strain because of its ‘carrier’ properties. As you might have known, the common flu is something that almost every human being on earth experiences once or twice, and that’s what I need it for. It can be caught from unclean water, and can be transmitted from one carrier (Carrier = Diseased human, although now that I think about it, this ‘supervirus’ would be able to infect animals, too.) to the next via talking, sneezing, coughing, and virtually every form of exhalation you can think of. It would spread like…well, like the plague. >:)

Lethal Toxin (which will henceforth be referred to as LT), Edema Factor (EF), and Protective Antigen (PA), are three proteins which give anthrax its deadly bite. Without it, anthrax would simply be a small bacteria that floats around, doing nothing of importance. Kind of like me. If I were to take the H1N1 strain and infuse it with these three little nasties…well, it would be enough to cause a deadly pandemic. Problem is, we’ve already created antibiotics for both H1N1 and anthrax, so my little virus would be stopped, studied, and cured within a week, no matter where I dropped it. The reason for the addition of LT, EF, and PA are because these three deadly proteins can kill within 24 hours. Which is what I want. Moving on.

The ST239-MRSA-III Strain…a long and complex name, so I’ve decided to call it Merissa, for short. This is a sub-strain of plain old MRSA, a deadly disease which can also kill its host within 24 hours…and so can Merissa. ‘But Edge!’ you say, ‘You already have anthraxic properties here that can already kill its victim in a day…why add a new one?’

Good question! And here’s the answer: Because Merissa doesn’t have a cure.

That’s right, my dear fellow bloggers. ST239-MRSA-III isn’t curable. If you catch Merissa, you’re dead. If I were to say that without any context, you would probably assume that Merissa was a very heavy woman.

So if we infuse Merissa into our H1N1+(LT)(EF)(PA) mix, we get a very, very, deadly mutant virus that unless heavily contained, could blot out human existence. BUT! We’re not done yet.

Being me, I had to go a little further, and add a little bit of CTXφ into the mix. What is CTXφ, you ask? I don’t know what it stands for, unfortunately, (I looked it up…it seems no one does) but I couldn’t find anything. Not important. Anyway, CTXφ is a bacteriophage that when combined with Vibrio Cholerae, creates cholera. I added this one in too, even though I know it’s overkill. Literally. Not only can cholera be excruciatingly painful, but can also kill within hours of being infected. That’s even less than a day! I added them to ensure that it doesn’t take too long to kill off our race. Once we’ve spliced those two in, we’re done with our virus!

So now not only is my super virus easily caught, super deadly, and incurable, it also kills within less than a day. I am so proud of myself, and I am also proud to say that the super virus that I have named the Nevermore Virus could kill us all within two weeks. Thank the Lord that it doesn’t exist.

Looks like it’s up to me, then.

Please tell me what you think in the comments! I look forward to the accusations of insanity.

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