Parental Advisory!

I freely admit that I’m a metalhead, and that Memphis May Fire, blessthefall, and Sleeping With Sirens are among my favorite bands, and today, I want to talk to you about metal.

Because frankly, I’ve received a lot of flak for it.

When I tell someone that I listen to metal, he or she responds in one of three ways:

  1. Distaste – This is by far the most common one. They’ll scrunch up their nose and say, “Oh…that.’ Like I just brought up abortion or something. ‘Yeah, I’m not into that…I don’t like all the screaming.’

It’s an acquired taste, people. Of course you don’t like the screaming. I didn’t either when I first started listening to it. It’s kind of like wine, bitter and unpleasant at first, but give it time, and it’ll start tasting great.

  1. Alarm – “Oh, you listen to metal? Uh…I think I’ll back away to a safe distance now.” I hate it when people do this, because it makes me sound like I loudly announced my plans to release a deadly virus on the world. Just because someone listens to metal doesn’t mean that they are angry, antisocial, or dangerous. It’s just a song genre that’s more aggressive than the pop junk you listen to. I have several friends who are the chillest, nicest people you could ever meet, who also happen to listen to screamo in their spare time.

Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there who listen to metal to fuel their rage or use it for other nefarious purposes, because there are. I’m just saying that those people do not compose even half of the metalhead community.

  1. Reprimand – this one is by far the most annoying to deal with, and usually comes from the conservative, pretentious christians that I’m often surrounded by. These people will be all smiles when they ask you what you listen to, and if you mumble, “Metal…”, they will immediately draw back from you and tell you how evil metal is and how it’s ‘of the devil’. I once had an elderly lady tell me that I needed to ‘turn back to God’ because metal music was going to ‘send me straight to hyyyyell’.

I’ve learned now that it’s necessary, when a christian asks me what I listen to, to smile and say ‘Hillsong’, or some other HCBVLDNATRL (Happy Christian Band with Vague Lyrics that Do Not Apply To Real Life), because I’m not too big a fan of long sermons about how much of a sinner I am.

And then, there are the rare, happy moments when I hear this:

“Oh hey! Me too! Have you heard Korn’s latest EP?”

To which I will happily reply, “Yes!”

But that’s just me.

Anyway, if you want to try out metal, don’t slam on headphones and play ‘Murderer’ by Impending Doom…your head will explode and you’ll hate metal forever.

Start out with something soft, like WCAR or…uhhhh…Get Scared. Listen to their music, and if you don’t like it, try searching online for ‘soft metal’. You might like it.

Be careful who you tell, though.

My siblings often make fun of metal when I’m listening to it, usually by mimicking it and adding their own words to it: “I HATE EVERYYTHING….EVERYBODY DIIEEEE…”

It’s hard to listen to them say that without trying to explain that that isn’t what metal is, but they don’t want to hear it.

I guess what I’m saying is, when you see a metalhead, don’t assume that they’re angry, emo, antisocial freaks who have intense problems at home and hate the world. They’re people just like you and I.

But they do have a better taste in music than most. xD


6 thoughts on “Parental Advisory!

  1. “HCBVLDNATRL (Happy Christian Band with Vague Lyrics that Do Not Apply To Real Life)” OH MY GOD THE ACCURACY. i go to a private christian school and anytime anyone makes fun of something about my faith i’m like yes bitch TRU, but also i love jesus yay. it’s a weird combo… also i listen to frigging k flay and SWMRS and classic rock and riot girl punk and musical soundtracks about cross dressers and people with AIDS (10 points if you know what musical i’m referencing) so i mean not all christians listen to hillsong and shit. by those standards, i’d definitely be going to hell at this point in my life, but i honestly don’t think God gives a crap what i listen to.

    Liked by 1 person

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